Are independent women doomed to be single…

The marriage rate has been on a steady decline since the mid 80s. Which coincidentally is about the same time the first generation of independent women came of age. We tell our daughters to be independent of the need for the financial support of men. Mainly because we love them and want them to always have their needs met.  Then they grow up and find there is only adulation and financial reward for their independence. That sounds great if you only want to date but if marriage is of interest then it’s just a beautiful gift box with nothing in it. The independent woman’s financial responsibility has guys coming out the woodwork to get a piece of her accomplishments but they need her more than she needs them. Women want to say “I’m the independent woman you told me to be, where’s my husband? Why can’t I find a good man?” 

I can tell you why. The very ideology that has made you independent is the sameone preventing your romantic sucess. You have been taught modern women don’t need men to take care of them, therefore you avoid men who want to take care of you. Below is the golden rule of how to identify a good man. 

“Not every man who wants to take care of you is a good man but there are no good men who don’t want to take care of you.”

A good man wants to take care of you, even if he can’t, even if you don’t need or want him to,  even if he feels its antiquated and tries to down play it.  In him is the natural inclination to provide your needs, protect and to covet you. It forces him to be understanding,  forgiving, engaged and studious where you’re concerned, all elements necessary to properly take care of someone,  all  necessites to have a sucessfull relationships with you. We are teaching women everything they need to know to be single. Then we tell them they should like it and there is satisfaction in camaraderie with like women…honestly who is really benefiting from that lessons? Isn’t there a way women can have both fulfilling careers and a man who wants to take care of them? #love, #romance, #marriage, #America, #Americanvalues, #lovesayings, #blacklove, #independentwomen, #goodman, #Christian, #sex, #dating

The Tourney is America 

This is the greatest sporting event of the year. The most America sporting event and it’s why we love it. Think about the American way, its ok to have a a way, lol. Everyone has a chance to suceed. EVERYONE. 351 schools all have a shot at making the tournament and whoever, on a level playing field, earns it can go. What is more American than that? 

It is an American original since 1891. It is an American export that has become a passion of the world. The world that sends it best and brightest to American schools were they contribute to the game. What’s more American than that?

We love football like Christmas, a holiday for the world. We love the Tourney like Thanksgiving, a strictly America original. #goheels, #ncaa, #marchmadness, #acc, #Naismith, #America,  #college basketball

God is out of style…

God is out of style for the loud minority in America and I understand. I remember examining religion as a logical person and could see how the stories may be difficult to believe. Then I examined religion like a pragmatic person and came up with more reasons to believe than not.I looked at the doctrine itself which taught things like not to kill and to be honest to not sleep with people’s husbands and wives, to raise your children to name just a few and it seemed to me if God wasn’t attached to the message no “good” person would disagree with the message. Christianity at its least was a how to guide for a life time of happiness. Another examination through logic with the benefits of the doctrine taken into consideration the believability of the history didn’t out weigh the results of living a good life and the possibility of life after death. As a pragmatic, logical person there was simply nothing to loose by believing. So Christianity just made sense to me and for me. You really gain nothing by not believing and…what if you are wrong…Simply, if you are a good person who wants to live a good life Christianity is a guide on how to do so and if you had no other reason to believe, this would be reason enough. #Christianity #love #religion #Trump #sex #dating

Men have an advantage in dating

 

Men have an advantage in dating and it is a burden they bear that no woman would want but could use. What is it, baited breath…REJECTION. In my extended years of dating, before I meet Mrs. Camack I noticed that women rarely did the approaching. In fact I can only remember once being directly approached by a woman interested in getting to know me. When I say extended I mean twenty years. When formulating this post I asked my wife how many times she had been rejected by a man she was interested in and she said two or three times, maybe. I said “IN YOUR LIFE?!” She said yeah, it was awful. I would assume most women would answer the same. At worst you may be able to quadruple that number. I told her on an average Saturday night in my twenties I would be rejected upwards of 10 times. I was relentless and would talk to women until someone bit. She found that amusing, as I explained before I am no stranger to losing.

Being rejected is very painful at 18 but by 20 it don’t hurt so much and by 25 “it is what it means to be a man.”  This has an effect on us that women don’t get in being the recipient of attention, we men learn our worth on the dating market. The constant rejection shows us who is available to us and who is out of our league. The result is we know who to target. We then have a choice to accept what we can get or make changes to improve our chance of getting what we want. For example, if we want a type of women and find that the ones we want aren’t interested we do things like go to the gym, get a nicer car, earn more money, etc. We learn our worth at such an early age we often design our lives around getting to a point where we can raise our worth. I personally realized that my “sweet-loving-slightly-chunky-not-particularly-well-dressed-with-little-to-no-money-self” could not attract the woman I wanted. I decided to make changes. A few years, 15 lbs, a six pack, a business and a brightened smile later I was juggling women I once couldn’t get the time of day from before. I was still the same sincere, caring individual I always was I just learned my worth and decided to up it.

Women on the other hand never learn what is available and what is out of their league. The idea that they have a designated “worth” is offensive at best! A man being beyond their reach because of who and what they are is a thought to be shunned while men must embrace it and do. This puts women at a disadvantage in comparison to their male counterparts because they don’t know who they should be trying to attract where men are zeroing in on a pool of potential mates they know they can have. It’s really that simple. I would love to hear your thoughts so don’t be afraid. I’m harmless, you didn’t forget I am a loser who wins a lot did you. #love, #dating, #relationships

“First Blog…I think I might be a loser”

Isn’t technology awesome. We can now share our thoughts with the world with the click of a mouse, beautiful. What makes my blog worth reading? ME. I mean blogs are our thoughts and observations and I have plenty of both. Since this is the first one I am writing I think introductions would be in order. My name is Develynne, that is a girl’s name but I am a boy. My mother heard the name back in ’69 or ’70 and thought it was cool and made it her first born son’s name. It came from a female activist in Ireland at the time. So, I’m named after a white woman…I am a black man, some days when people are looking I am an African American. I am a patriot, I love the United States of America the way you love your unattractive child. Hey, she is beautiful to me.  My best description is “I’m a loser, who wins a lot”. I use to think I was a winner but I realized I lose too much to be a winner. However, being labeled a loser is depressing and not completely accurate as I win, you know, sometimes. So instead of being a winner who loses too much, I am a loser who wins a lot. I sleep better with this designation.  This blog will be about whatever is going on in the Nation or outside it that may affect it. I talk about love, relationships, sports, news, politics, etc. from the perspective of a forty-five-year-old black man, father of three, married and an entrepreneur having been in business for 16 years now. I am eager to hear your thoughts on my various subjects as well. Feel free to comment, agree or disagree. I have always learned more about bees from kicking the beehive than sitting staring at it. #love #life #religion #Trump #sex #dating #politics #HB2