Black Man…quit your crying 

Racism is alive and well, but if it don’t kill you, it can’t stop you. The black man who wants to constructively criticize his people find himself in a precarious place. He is fully aware of what we are doing to surpress ourselves but is afraid to speak on it for fear it will reinforce stereotypes that whites will use against his people so he stays quite and let’s the problems fester…NO MORE. It’s time we cleaned our own house.  The issues are to numerous too put in one post that is designed to emphasize the problem silence causes but I will broach one topic.  “We the victim”. My parents did a few really good things in my rearing and none better than getting my mind right for life as a black man. They said “the only fair shake a black man will get in this world is the one he makes for his self.” I have no expectations of fair treatment,  so I am never shocked or dissapointed when I don’t get it. Yes we are victimized but so what. I see too many of my people stop right there in their assessment of our condition. The truth is too many of us don’t work hard enough to get what we want. We need to work harder and smarter and if we have to do twice the work to get what we want …then we will need a good night’s sleep. We have tried being victims of our situation and know what that gets us. Let’s try acceptin we are at a disadvantage and say that will not stop us, and see where that gets us. Life is tough, be tougher. #blacklove,  #blacklivesmatter, #blackpower, #hiphop, #africanamerican, #naacp, #blackman, #blackmantra, #blackwoman

Feminism has let heterosexual women down

The Feminist movement was crafted by lesbian and heterosexual woman alike but works better for the lesbian than her cohart. How do you judge a movement.  The same way you judge a tree, by the fruit it bears.  Let’s see what feminism has produced for the heterosexual woman. If we look at the last 30 years feminism has produced higher pay, more education and greater opportunities. Great, this tree seems good but wait. There’s some other fruit too. The suicide rate for middle-aged women, ages 45 to 64, jumped by 63 percent in the last 30 years. Marriage percentage has decreased every year since the mid 80s. These two blaring stats highlights the failings of Feminism for the heterosexual woman. It’s message of “INDEPENDENCE” and implications that financial and social equality would mean happiness is snake oil. You can’t tell me you are helping women while under your watch woman are killing themselves at a historic clip and women who want marriage have a harder time finding it than they did before you showed up. 

The problem is the Feminist agenda wasn’t written with heterosexual women in mind. If it was, then better unions with men would have been part of what success looked like. However Feminism made men the obstacle which has repercussion like less marriage and depression for heterosexual woman that their lesbian counterparts do not suffer. Think about it, the mantra is “we don’t need men”. However,  its lesbians who don’t need men, heterosexual woman absolutely do. Heterosexuals women need their own brand of Feminism and it must include men as an ally not the obstacle for woman’s sake. #feminism, #feminist,  #NOW, #love, #romance, #marriage, #suicide,  #God, #Christian,  #relationships,  #America,  #Americanvalues, #lovesayings, #blacklove, #independentwomen #women

Beating up women who hit first is equality…isn’t it?

We appear to be working towards a society where gender is irrelevant until we come upon situations where gender is all that is relevant. Enter Joe Mixon. How can we have it both ways? 

When I think of the male abuser I think of the drunk husband who comes home and without provocation beats his wife dizzy cause it’s Tuesday. After watching the video the physical confrontation was initiated by the female. I was dumbstruck.  Why aren’t we talking about the whole incident?  We are after all equals. If a 130 lb man struck Mixon and he broke his jaw would we care. Would we say the 130 lb man shouldn’t have attacked Mixon in the first place. However,  because it’s a woman we see the dynamics differently …and we should because we are not equals. We are physically different.   We know what Mixon shouldn’t have done but what “should” he have done instead of retaliating?

Conservative number has DV initiated by women at nearly 40%. In these cases men retaliate and we have what we all scorn, a man hitting a woman. The problem is we appear to want conflicting things. Equality where gender is irrelevant, and we want men to demonstrate self control the female isn’t required to in the case of physical violence.  This paradox is why the present course of genderless equality doesn’t work. Ignoring our differences doesn’t mean they don’t exist. 

Mixon should have acknowledged that he and the woman were far from equals, ate the slaps and walked away. That is the response we want, but no one has said it out loud, why? We don’t want to teach boys, men and women aren’t physically equal and men need to show a higher degree of restraint because of that because it’s not PC. It’s time to have a conversation based in reality, not PC fairytale. Men have a responsibility to observe and respect the FACT that women are excused from physically violent retaliation and we need to learn it from birth and if it is in conflict with our PC reality then we need to check the validity of our self created reality. #mixon, #Christian, #Christianity, #God, #nfl, #nfldraft, #joemixon, #domestic violence, #genderequality, #womensrights, #rayrice, #America, #Americanvalues, #football

I have to thank my parents. ..the bums 

I was raised by two less than sucessfull people.  They had more weaknesses than strengths but they had one thing in common that helped me tremendously in life. The talk, while some people walk it like they talk it. My parents just talked it, and did a damn good job at that. 

They were both born before the 50s in good financial situations. My maternal grandparents worked at the mill all their lives and managed home ownership,  a boat, a camper and summer vacations. They weren’t rich but both their children graduated college.

My faternal grandparents were both business owners. My grandfather owner a barbershop. My grandmother was the most successful of all, owning several business and in a time when the city was segregated she owned houses on the side of town she couldn’t live on. 

My parents grew up hearing the lessons of hard working and sucessfull people and while they couldn’t duplicate their parents sucess they could pass along the message. The same one I now pass along to my children.  I think one of the things parents today gave up that they should have kept was this saying my parents told me as a rule. “DO AS I SAY NOT AS I DO!” That adage is why I am a business owner, a graduate and according to my kids and wife a great father and husband. So like my parents …the loveable bums, I am passing on the knowledge necessary for success, a family legacy. #family,  #children, #America, #Americanvalues, #family, #familyvalues, #parent,  #wife, #Christian, #Christianity,  #Jesus, #love, #Christ, #money,  #self-employed, #workethic, #blacklove 

Why we men put women and children on the lifeboat first

Because of HER. The first woman we ever loved, the first thing we loved more than ourselves. We remember when SHE was all that was good. When SHE was warmth and safety.   We know that children need their mothers more than they need us. We believe that in every woman, if she can dig down deep enough has the potential to be HER to a child. So we put them on the boat and pray we had enough insurance and that she listened to what we told her and that she is as tough with them as she was with us and she finds happiness with a good man because that means our children will be happy and…and that she never forgets us. #motherhood, #mothersday, #love, #life,  #familyvalues, #God, #Christian,  #Christianity, #Jesus, #husband,  #wife, #America,  #devotion, #family, #children,  #sacrifice,  #babies, #father, #dad, #mothersday

Opposites attract, then want to strangle each other…

Remember when we wanted someone who had strengths where we have weakness. Remember when we wanted someone who was good with money cause we suck. Remember when we wanted someone who was neat cause we are junkie.  What…you still want that. Oh no my friend, oh no.

In my many travels down loves lane I used the logic that someone who was good at what I am bad at would be the ideal mate…Then I met her or hers and guess what? My opposite was not what I needed. They could do all the things I couldn’t and I could do the stuff they couldn’t and it seemed like a match made in crazy heaven then reality showed up. See getting your opposite doesn’t work because the only person who hates your short comings more than you is someone who doesn’t share any of them. LOL! I made a funny.

All the conservative, anal women who were my opposite, who had balanced checkbooks and neat homes, couldn’t stand me once we left the bedroom and I wasn’t particularly fond of them either. When it came to money they didn’t help me manage it better, they just complained that I was irresponsible with it…well duh. When it came to tidiness they didn’t clean up after me. They called me a slob, which of course was true. I finally realized maybe I’m going about this wrong. Maybe I should try something else.

So, I dated my wife, but she wasn’t my wife then, and she wasn’t like me. No, no she was far worse. At first I thought we are gonna be living in our automobile and its going to be a garbage truck but you know what happened. She was so untidy, it made me more tidy. She was so irresponsible with money, I became budget minded. See what happened. The cure to my ills wasn’t someone better than me at stuff, it was someone worse. Now some eight years later she is much better at the stuff we use to share deficiencies in and I was patient and understanding, mostly, along the way cause hey  I understand, it does make sense to leave your shoes and jacket in the living room on the floor…you are just gonna put it on again tomorrow, or the next day, or eventually. #love, #lovesayings, #marriage, #dating, #romance, #sex, #women, #men, #oppositesattract